We are allowed to have many faces

The truth is that we are all patchworks

I sometimes find myself on the receiving end of a label that feels quite at odds with what I believe in; the "Trad Wife".  Apparently, this is what I am meant to be, based on my choice of frock and hobby. I garden. I bake. I keep chickens. I enjoy some elements of domestic life and tend to wear floaty dresses while doing it. But I also enjoy a good spreadsheet. I am fascinated by business growth, brand identity, and digital strategy. I spent years in high-pressure sales and I loved the thrill of the pitch. The two are not mutually exclusive. Equally, there is nothing wrong with opting to label oneself a “Trad Wife”. But why do we feel the need to reduce others to one thing?

David Beckham is currently having what seems like a very wholesome time; flat cap, chickens, kitchen garden. Victoria is still owning her career, pushing boundaries in fashion. But nobody is labelling David as a “Trad Husband”. It is just a balance, and it is applauded. Women should be allowed that same freedom if they so wish. I can love the sound of birdsong, wear gingham, and still want to talk about business margins. We are allowed to have many faces. The truth is that we are all patchworks.

Our lives are stitched together from many different versions of ourselves. Mother, friend, businesswoman, dreamer, realist, romantic, cook, gardener, leader. We are not one thing. It is easy to make assumptions from an Instagram feed. But social media is not designed to show the full truth. It is a small window, often catching only the light. What I share is real, the joy, the beauty, the calm; but of course it is not the full picture. It is not the midnight emails, the juggling of deadlines and school pickups, the constant question of “What’s for dinner?”. I work full time for myself, which some days feels like having the hardest boss in the world. My husband works full time too. We juggle, we compromise, we step up when the other needs to sit down. Some weeks I cook more, some weeks he does the school run more. He is calm where I am chaotic. I am creative where he is precise. We are a team, and we enable each other.

That, to me, is the heart of it. Enabling. Holding space for the other. Whether you are at home with your children or running a business or doing both at once, what matters is that you had the choice. Feminism should be about that, the freedom to choose your path, and the respect of others to let you walk it without judgement. Being a woman sometimes feels hard, no matter what we do. If we wear a floaty dress and make sourdough, we are labelled old-fashioned. If we wear a suit and push for more, we are labelled aggressive. But we are both. We are all of it. And we do not belong in boxes. So let’s look after each other. Woman to woman. Human to human. Let’s stop trying to label each other into submission. Because the truth is, the patchwork of what makes each of us whole is far too beautiful and far too complex to ever fit into one word.

From all of us here at Mulberry House, thank you for sharing in the pockets of joy we try to weave through the everyday. It may not be the full story of us, but it is a true reflection of life as we know and love it. And what better job could there be than to bring a little joy into someone else’s day?